By : Attahar
Hi. My name is attahar. I know this is supposed to be a group for men sharing memories of their mothers but I found out about you. I won’t say how and I want to tell you about my son. You can do what you want with the letter. I just need to tell someone to get it off my chest, and I can’t talk to anyone else about this.
Nathan is almost finished high school, something he’s longed for, but the closer it comes, the unhappy he seems. His father wants him to work for him, to learn the business and work his way up so one day he can take it over. I think this is the source of the problem. Nathan isn’t a salesman type. He’s bookish. Three years ago, I found out about an affair between Mark and a woman that works for one of his big customers.
We had a big fight and Mark promised to end it, but I’m pretty sure he has had flings before and now that some time has passed he’s at it again. I can’t be sure but I think Nathan knows about the affair because he drew away from his dad right after that and hasn’t been close ever since. Anyway, I think Nathan is afraid of confronting his father about his future and he’s becoming more and more depressed the closer the time comes.
And that time will arrive as soon as school ends. So, what does that have to do with a group like yours? Well, my heart goes out to my son and I’ve found myself trying to console him. If Mark is out at night, which he often is, Nathan will sit alone watching a movie. He hardly ever goes out with his friends anymore. If Mark is home, Nathan will disappear into his room but he always comes out if Mark leaves.
It’s clear he’s just avoiding his father. In an effort to get him to talk, I’ve been joining Nathan whenever he’s downstairs watching a movie and once even followed him to his room to chat while he surfed the net. That was all well and fine, but the other night I had was surprised to find that although Mark was leaving for a meeting right after supper, Nathan went to his room anyway.
Before he left, Mark said, “attahar, see if you can find out what is going on with that kid.” Nathan’s behavior was indeed obvious if his father noticed so I knew I had to do something before things came to a head. I cleaned up the dishes and went upstairs. For some reason, I balked at Nathan’s door and went on to my own room. I decided that I needed to relax before talking to my son, so I had a long shower.
Putting on my soft, pale blue motherly robe, I walked slowly to Nathan’s room, cocking my head to swing the hair out of my face and onto my back and straightening my shoulders before knocking. I didn’t wait, I went right in. He wasn’t there. Momentarily confused, I left and approached the main bathroom.
The light shone through the slightly open door. Pressing my face near the opening, I quietly called Nathan’s name. No answer. Cautiously, I opened the door just enough to peek into the bathroom, ready to pull back quickly in case he wasn’t presentable. He wasn’t there.
Walking slowly downstairs, I was thinking Nathan had gone out and I’d missed my chance for a private talk but as I descended the stairs, I could see him slouched down in the middle of the couch, facing away from me toward the TV.
All the downstairs lights were off and the living room flickered with each scene change on the television. Quietly, I approached my son. He wasn’t aware of my presence until I leaned over the back of the couch and folding my arms around him in a big hug, my damp hair falling past my ears to drape over his shoulder and onto his chest.
He was startled just enough to spill some of the popcorn from the bowl he held in his lap. It’s so dark in here, it’s like going to the movies,” I remarked on the sanctuary quality the near darkness shed on our living room, like the semi-privacy people sought in theaters. Yeah,” he replied, providing no further explanation. Do you want some more popcorn?” I asked, noting that the bowl in his lap was almost empty.
Yeah, that’d be great. I left to make more popcorn, but not before I noticed that Nathan was also dressed in a robe and he was naked except for the pair of shorts underneath the bowl in his lap. While I made the popcorn, I puzzled about why I had noticed that, and why the term ‘naked’ had popped into my head. Anyway, before I joined Nathan, I was careful to turn out the kitchen light.
“Can I watch your movie, too?” I asked as I rounded the end of the couch and plopped down beside him. Nathan was still sitting in the middle and didn’t move over so our thighs touched. I had room to move away but I didn’t. Oh, sure mom. I held out the new bowl of popcorn but before Nathan could pass me the empty one I grabbed it and slid it across his lap, setting the full one into its place.
I hadn’t meant to drag the bowl across my son’s shorts but I was aware of what I was doing when I actually did it and that I could have lifted it before pulling it away. I was even more aware that the bowl hadn’t moved across an even surface. I blushed and turned to watch the movie as Nathan grabbed the new bowl. Is it good?” I asked, looking at the TV.
Yeah,” he replied in his usual, offhand way. We watched in silence, Nathan concentrating on the movie and I try to think of some way to engage him in a conversation that would let me find a way to help him deal with his worries about the future. I couldn’t think of anything so I just watched the TV and picked at the popcorn.
During one of these reaches for a handful of popcorn, I noticed Nathan glance at me. I’m right handed and, since he was sitting to my left, I had to twist that way, an action that forced a gap in my robe. I was shocked. Nathan was looking into my robe!
His eyes flicked to the TV as I drew back. I acted like I hadn’t noticed his look. Had he? Had he really looked? Now I wasn’t sure. I finished my handful of popcorn quickly and reached for another, this time twisting in an exaggerated fashion so my robe would gap more than necessary. I could sense his eyes straying down to seek my cleavage.
I can’t explain what I did then. I turned my head toward the TV, feigning a sudden interest in what was transpiring there, leaving my robe open while I held my hand in the bowl, allowing my son a long look, knowing he must be able to see the whole inside of my right breast as it hung freely from my chest.
Could he see my nipple? I remember thinking that as I continued watching the movie. I can still feel the tingle that thought sent through me. Would a young man my son’s age be interested in a woman’s breasts, a woman my age? Evidently I had just passed forty but despite my husband’s wandering eyes, I still attracted my share of attention from the opposite sex. But I was Nathan’s mother, not just an older woman.
Eventually, I had to sit back but I took very little popcorn so only a brief moment later, I was back. Again, I seemed distracted by the movie and took longer than usual to retrieve even a small handful of popcorn, digging deeper in the bowl before finally filling my need. As I sat back to feed, I smiled to myself. I wasn’t quite sure what I was up to but I felt good and the thought of my son sneaking peeks at my breasts excited me.
A strange tingle traveled up and down my limbs and my breathed shortened. As I watched the movie, I shrugged my shoulders as if trying to ease stiff muscles but I was really trying to loosen my robe. Good grief, attahar, I thought. What are you up to? I couldn’t help myself. My robe hung loosely from my shoulders as I leaned forward further than before in search of more popcorn and I could feel my unkempt breasts sway with my movements.
I searched for popcorn for so long that an independent observer would consider my behavior odd if not brazen. But Nathan didn’t object. I kept fishing about in the bowl until the commercials started. Only then did I sit back. After a minute, I asked Nathan if I should make more popcorn though the bowl was still almost half full. I reached over to grasp the bowl but Nathan held on to it tightly, keeping it in place.
No, Mom,” he cried, “There’s still lot’s left. I laughed. “But we might run out before the commercials start again,” I argued, tugging on the bowl. Nathan didn’t say anything but he held the bowl firmly in place and seemed agitated. Suddenly, clarity speared into my mind. He wasn’t worried about popcorn. He needed to keep that bowl in place lest it reveal the effect of his observations and my seemingly innocent help with his spying.
I relented and we sat in awkward silence waiting for the movie to start again. While we waited, I toyed absently with the belt on my robe. Although I hadn’t originally intended to, I found myself pulling the knot apart, surreptitiously, so as not to attract Nathan’s attention. Why was I being so secretive? I argued to myself that I needed to get Nathan to talk, to confide in me so I could help him, and to do that I needed his attention.
This was hogwash, and wrong, but I wasn’t thinking clearly and didn’t hold this ridiculous rationalization up for serious critical review. At some level, I knew I was being bad but I was enjoying myself and needed an excuse to continue a little longer.
Self doubt disappeared as soon as the movie started and, almost as if it was expected, I leaned forward to get more popcorn. Arching my back, I fished around in the bowl, my breasts stretching my breasts up and out, knowing full well that my untied robe afforded Nathan a wonderful side view of my bare breast.
He should now certainly be able to see the swell of my right breast as it departed my chest and swept up toward my covered nipple.
In no hurry, I repeated my distracted fishing expedition in the popcorn bowl, shamelessly digging and scratching longer and harder for my prey, know the painful thrill that each scrape of my fingers along the bottom of the bowl sent to my son.
I knew that my robe had parted along my thighs and though my nipples were still covered, the robe was open all down the front, exposing my tummy and the top of my panties. I held my position for as long as I could, blush when I realized that Nathan must know by now that I was letting him look.
What other explanation could there be? I drew away with a handful of popcorn, letting my hand fall along the outside of my leg, brushing the robe away and baring my thigh even more as I twisted back to settle into the couch. Silently, I slowly munched popcorn, my robe covering my breasts but open down the middle, splaying to the sides of my legs to leave most of my thighs exposed.
I felt like an actor in a lurid scene, that the movie wasn’t playing on the television but here in our living room. Nathan wasn’t looking at the TV. He was looking at me and though I didn’t look at him I knew his eyes were on the valley between my breasts, rising and falling with the excited breathing that I couldn’t quite suppress. Then they traveled further, over my belly and along the narrow strip of panties visible between through the gap in the robe.
I could feel myself warming there as his eyes lingered, betrayed by the cant of his head visible from the corner of my eye. As his eyes dwelled, I felt the urge to pull my robe together, to end this shocking hussy behavior. But instead, I slowly fed a few more kernels into my mouth, setting each one individually on my tongue and pulling it into my mouth. I could feel him tense beside me and this heightened the incredible sensation that was washing over me.
I felt more seductive and desired than I had at any time in my life. After sucking the last kernel into my mouth, I pulled both elbows tight to my sides and dragged on my robe as if drying my buttery fingers, bringing both hands down to my sides, parting the robe slightly more. I slouched down in the couch, pushing my legs out, opening my knees a little and thrusting my pelvis up.
I felt a another rush go through me as my son’s gaze slid from mouth, through my cleavage and over my tummy to my panties, briefly passing on to my knees and then back along my thighs to rest on my panties.
I gathered another small handful of popcorn without twisting around and we sat like that, Nathan staring at my body, and me pretending I was unaware, slowly popping single pieces of popcorn into my mouth while the warmth in my panties increased.
Looking down along my body toward the TV, I could see that my pantied mound was swollen. I was more than ready for action and I could detect the faint aroma that would have signaled my pliant state to a more experienced partner. I had to put a stop to this, now.
When the commercials started, I sat up and turned toward my son. Nathan, I want to talk to you about your plans after school ends.” I just blurted it out, surprising myself as much as he. He was taken aback and struggled for words. He looked away and I realized that in my haste, my robe had fallen wide open and completely off my left breast.
Look at me, Nathan. I want to talk to you. I know it’s been bothering you. I reached over to turn his face toward me but he resisted. But Mom,” he protested, his eyes straying down to glance at my exposed tit and then away again. Don’t worry about that. I’m your mother. It doesn’t matter if you see me like that. Nevertheless, I pulled the robe over to cover my breast.
There, Mr. Prude,” I laughed. “Now we can talk.” I pulled his face toward me again, this time succeeding. “Now tell me. Are you planning on going away so you don’t have to work for your father? Nathan’s eyes widened. Don’t look so surprised. Your father may not realize you don’t want to work in the business but I’m your mother and I know what you’re thinking. His eyes widened even more, perhaps thinking that maybe I knew what he’d been thinking for the past half hour.
“I know you don’t want to do what your father does,” I added, mostly to assure him I was talking about what he was going to do this summer rather than our movie watching behavior, but also to avoid recognition that I was also aware of what had just transpired. Nathan recovered himself, acknowledging that he was indeed worried about his father wanting him to work for him, that he didn’t know how to tell him and that he would probably do it rather than get into a fight, or leave.
Nonsense, I told him. “You have to stand up for yourself. This is your future. But you know how Dad is,” he replied, turning his eyes down. “You know what he’s like. I did know. Mark was bellicose and persistent, rarely taking no for an answer.
I noticed that Nathan was again looking at my left breast. Glancing down, I saw that the robe had fallen back and half my breast was exposed, the lapel clinging perilously to my nipple, partly distended from the rapt attention it had been receiving. I know,” I sympathized, reaching out with my right hand to pull his head toward me and tilting it down so he could look without fear of being caught. “But this is your life. You can’t just give in.”
I raised my left hand to cup his cheek. I don’t know if it was this action or the extra tweak my nipple felt from his renewed attention, but the robe fell away, leaving my left breast fully exposed. Mom, He might have been trying to tell me but I cut him off. I’ll help you. I’ll talk to your father. I’ll make him understand.”
“Thanks Mom,” he mumbled. I could tell he was barely listening to me, his attention elsewhere.
But you have to promise me you won’t take off after schools over. I stroked the back of his head, keeping his gaze upon me though he needed no encouragement. As I lifted my right hand to stroke his hair, I could see that my right breast began to show itself too, poking out and hiding with each movement of my arm.
Will you promise to stay home with me, no matter what happens?” I asked. As I said this, I realized just how important it was to have Nathan stay. My voice swelling with emotion, I pulled his face to my breast. Promise me,” I asked. “Promise me,” I demanded. “I promise,” his muffled voice came back. I relaxed my arms. I had pulled Nathan tightly to me, pressing his face into my breast as the fear of losing him swept over me.
As he pulled his head back, I realized that I had pulled his mouth right onto my bare breast, just above my extended nipple. His eyes were glued to it as he drew back, as if he’d never seen one before. It’s important for you to stay,” I reiterated, my voice charged with motherly emotion. “Your father hasn’t been much of a companion these past few years. You know that, don’t you.”
Nathan nodded, his eyes still focused on my bare breast. He became aware that he was staring at my bare tit and tried to turn away, blushing. Mom, don’t worry about that. Don’t let it bother you. It doesn’t bother me.” I pulled his head forward again, tilting his face toward me. “Will you stay?” I asked. Nathan looked at my breast for a long minute, and then turned his gaze up to hold my eyes. “I’ll stay, Mom. I promise.”
Love welled up inside me. I pulled my son to me and hugged him, kissed his cheeks and then kissed him on his lips, on his mouth. He was visibly shocked, but not horrified. Did that surprise you?” I asked, laughing. Yeah,” he replied, laughing as well, nervously. Me too,” I laughed.
Nathan laughed again, more relaxed this time. Let’s celebrate with some wine.”
I got up and rushed into the kitchen, opening a bottle of Merlot and bringing two glasses with me. Nathan had moved to the end of the couch so I set the glasses down on the table beside him and poured the wine. My robe was still untied and I made no effort to keep it closed as I filled the glasses, keeping my eyes on the wine so he could look if he wanted.
When I finished I handed him a glass and, taking one myself, sat on the couch beside him, pulling my legs up and leaning my knees toward him. A toast to our pact,” I said. “Us, against Dad. Clink. We sipped our wine.”Oh, the movie’s over,” I observed. But another one’s probably starting. Do you want to watch another?” Nathan asked. Yeah,” I answered, parodying his typically disinterested response to my queries. Nathan laughed and handed me the remote.
You pick,” he said. You trust a mere woman to operate this?” I asked with feigned incredulity. Sure,” he smiled. I took the remote and pulled his arm over my shoulder, leaning further toward him as I flipped through the channels. Settling on a movie, I put the remote down and stretched across Nathan, turning my back so I was lying almost flat on my back with my head resting on the arm, facing the TV. My robe was still untied and open but it covered my breasts.
We watched in silence, not even speaking during the commercials. Nathan offered me a sip of his wine and I tilted my head forward to drink. As the movie progressed, we finished his glass and then the rest of mine but Nathan didn’t refill either glass. My robe gradually fell open and though it didn’t fall completely away, I knew that Nathan could probably see much of my breasts and probably the nipple on the left one.
I didn’t care. My mind was in a strange place and I was thoroughly enjoying laying on my son’s lap, partially naked, warmed by the glow of wine, and other things. I closed my eyes and stretched several times through the next set of commercials, and I knew the exact moment that the robe fell completely off my left breast.
I kept my eyes closed but stopped stretching. I lay there, satisfied and happy that my son was looking at my naked breast, knowing that his eyes were sliding down my bare tummy to my panties. I could feel them resting there, caressing the mound pushing up under the now dampish cotton. For feedback mail me at